I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
