How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
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