I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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