Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
