I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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