you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
i think i scared a bird with my dick
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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