The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
