how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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