so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
