Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
