My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
