Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Randomize
