in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
