I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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