In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
no. you can't hotbox the world.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
