you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
What a dumb baby whore.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
