Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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