Joe is yelling at the trees again.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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