Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
