1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Randomize
