There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
