just tell him i said nine months
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Of course I have a pirate flag
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Randomize
