Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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