Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
