i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
