i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
