I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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