so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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