I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Randomize
