Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize