He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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