I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
