my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
