with your own penis?
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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