thus making me awesome and them whores
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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