dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
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