Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
