So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
