That's when you crack a 10am beer
They should really pass out barf bags in church
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I need to wash the frat house off of me
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
