my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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