I want to have your abortion
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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