what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Randomize