My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
