I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
