I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
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