so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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