im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
