Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
