the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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