umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
